THE FARMER AND THE ARTIST


An artist went to a beautiful part of the country for a holiday, and stayed with a farmer. Every day he went out with his paints and his brushes and painted from morning to everning, and then when it got dark, he went back to the farm and had a good dinner before he went to bed.

At the end of his holiday he wanted to pay the farmer, but the farmer said: "No. I do not want money- but give me one of your pictures. What is money? In a week it will be finishes, but your painting will still be here".

The artist was very pleased and thanked the farmer for saying such kind things about his paintings.

The farmer smiled and answered, "It is not that. I have one son in London. He wants to become an artist. When he comes here next month, I will show him your picture and then he will not want to be an artist any more, I think.

(Sưu tầm theo sách những mẫu chuyện cười tiếng anh.)

 
 

I AM NOT A BEAR
 
Old Mr Black loved shooting bears, but his eyes were not good any more. Several times he nearly shot people instead of bear, so his friends were always very careful when they went out shooting with him.
 
One day a young friend of his wanted to have a joke, so he got a big piece of white paper and wrote on it in very big letters " I AM NOT A BEAR".Then he tied it to his back and wenr off. His friends saw it and laughes a lot.
 
But it did not save him. After a few minutes Mr Black shot at him and knocked his hat off.
 
The young man was frightened and angry. "Didn't you see this piece of paper?. " he shouted to Mr Black "Yes,I did. said Mr Black. Then he went nearer, looked carefelly at the paper and said "Oh. I amvery sory. I did no see the word NOT."
 
 

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house. 


The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us." 


The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left.



A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them. 


The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again. 


An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them. 


Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will save him." So the boat left him again. 


Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?" 


God replied, "You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!"